It still doesn't feel real, but we're having another baby! I'm due September 30th with baby number two and it can't come soon enough. The journey to this babe was so different than Leo's story. Leo happened pretty much right away. This pregnancy didn't happen when we wanted it. We had to wait, and it was hard. No, I didn't have to wait even close to nearly as long as a lot of women and couples do, but it was still hard for us in regards to where we were in our life and where we wanted to be.
That being said, after some months of trying, the month of November I was certain I was pregnant. Like 99 percent certain. I had all the symptoms, and I was late. Well we'll just say that Thanksgiving day turned out to be kind of the worst for us. And literally, the exact same thing happened on Christmas day. Tell me that that doesn't suck. haha.
Come January, I had really no hope or expectation of a pregnancy. I had even tried to convince Talon multiple times that we should just take a break from trying for awhile because I couldn't handle the constant ups and downs every month. I would still be sad, but at least this way it was under my control. He never agreed though, and was always more hopeful and faithful than I was. He would always tell me how strongly he felt that it would happen soon but that this baby was busy with something important on the other side and wasn't ready to come to our family quite yet. I liked the idea of that, but honestly I couldn't help but feeling like what I wanted didn't matter to God. And it was for multiple reasons that I won't go into here because this is supposed to be a happy post after all! And it is! I just had to preface it with a little bit of the journey because it wasn't smooth sailing this go around.
Anyways, the last week of January I started feeling my typical monthly symptoms. I'm pretty sure that every single day that week I cried to Talon that yet another month was going to pass by. He kept asking me how positive I was about not being pregnant, to which every time I would tell him 100 percent positive. And I was that positive that I wasn't. But a few times throughout that week I would have little thoughts that I could be or that I even might be. But I would quickly dismiss them because it seemed like wishful thinking, something I had fallen victim to several times while trying to get pregnant. Well that Thursday night I couldn't sleep because I was waiting to start my period but it wasn't happening. I knew I had one pregnancy test leftover and figured that if I took the test I would immediately start, because that had happened a few times already. But I didn't want to see another negative test so I forced myself to forget it and go to sleep. I woke up on Friday January 26 and couldn't stop thinking about taking the pregnancy test. Talon had left for work, and I had just sent Leo off to spend the day with his grandparents. I was getting ready and similarly to when I decided to take a pregnancy test for my first pregnancy, something took over me and before I knew it I was in the bathroom taking the dang thing.
I was shaking. With 100 percent certainty that it would only show one line, TWO lines showed up before I could even put the test on the counter. I was shocked. My jaw dropped and I screamed out loud, "What?! I'm pregnant!?!?" And I immediately covered my mouth and started crying. Bawling really. And thanking God for letting it happen. One of my big fears about our journey the second time around was feeling that when it finally did happen, I wouldn't be grateful for it. A part of me genuinely felt that I would only think, "It's about dang time. Freaking finally. Sheesh." Because of the expectations I had but the reality I was living in. I was honestly relieved that that wasn't the case. I was nothing but grateful in that moment. In the time since that moment I have had questions and doubts about God's timing but again, that's nothing I need to go into here.
So back to it! I couldn't stop staring at that test. I was in complete disbelief. I knew Talon would be coming home for lunch soon so I got myself together because I really wanted to surprise him with the news in a fun way, but I wasn't prepared for that yet. I hid the pregnancy test evidence and when he came home I did my best to act melancholy. haha. It was so hard not to tell him but I knew a surprise would be so much better. I dropped him back off at work and went to Target because a part of me still didn't believe I was pregnant. I grabbed a pregnancy test, bought it, then went straight to the bathroom in Target to take it. When it said "pregnant" I was so happy and still couldn't believe it but knew it was real. I got a few things we needed at Target and then went to a party store to get a huge white balloon. I had just enough time to race home, tie a few ribbons to the balloon and tie the end of the string to the pregnancy tests I had taken along with a little note that said, "Looks like you're going to have another birthday buddy, see you October 1st, Daddy! Love, Baby #2! :)" (Talon and Leo's birthdays are in October, less than a week apart. I had calculated my potential due date to be October 1st, but it was moved up to September 30th. Whatevs.) I left it in the middle of the living room and went to get Talon. It took everything in me to wipe my giddy smile off of my face. And the whole way home I was talking about anything and everything under the sun except babies, Leo, and pregnancy. It's only about a ten minute drive home luckily.
When we walked through the door Talon saw the balloon and said, "hmmm, what's that?" And I thought he would figure it out right away but he didn't say anything else so I told him to go and see. He just looked at the balloon and then saw that it was tied to something. He was literally holding the pregnancy tests in his hand with zero reaction! I was trying not to burst with the news and also burst with laughter because how did he not realize it yet?! Just goes to show how unexpected this was for the both of us, even though we were trying. He finally read the note, and a little confused he looked at the tests and it finally clicked. He just looked up at me with a huge smile on his face and was like, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? You're pregnant!?" And I just nodded to confirm. He was so surprised, and hugging I started telling him the whole story and telling him I was just as surprised. Oh it was so, so worth surprising him like that. It was one of the best moments in our marriage. Later I asked Talon how he didn't get what it was right away and he said he thought I was just doing something cute for date night. hahaha. Best surprise everrr.
We went out to eat and to a movie before little Leo came home and we were just as excited to tell him he was going to be a big brother even though he has no idea what he's in for. :)
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